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Ich bin ein Hamburger

July 3, 2002

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Burrow into The Gay Blade’s enclave. The Spork Boards

Ach, du lieber Augustin! Just ask any native Berliner over the age of 60: When the United States rolls into German territory, the losing team is more than likely to be split asunder.

For a more recent example of this phenomenon, The Gay Blade directs Macolytes’ attention to the recent machinations surrounding Apple Computer’s acquisition of Emagic, Hamburg-based developer of Logic and other digital-audio kit cats ask for by name.

According to the Blade’s aides-de-camp, Emagic was but one of two Hanseatic audio outfits on Apple’s short list. What’s more, it sounds like it’s not just the doomed Windows users of Emagic software who’ll be displaced by Apple’s Anschluß: As Apple recasts itself as a direct competitor in the audio space, the losing half of the Mac maker’s cage match – Cubase creator Steinberg Media Technologies AG, also based in Hamburg – has reportedly laid off about half its team in preparation for a lengthy siege.

Over there

And speaking of unbridled software imperialism: Back on the home front, intelligence continues to trickle in about Apple’s plans for Mariani One, the venerable swathe of corporate campus it turned over to Sun during the Armistice of ’96.

Grizzled veterans of earlier campaigns report that the reclaimed office space will be used as the staging ground for a new, unified applications offensive: The AppleWorks team is already en route to the new digs, they report; further, Apple is apparently planning to turn the building over to its applications-software brain trust, which will leverage some of the company’s recent multimedia acquisitions to create a whole new generation of iApps safe from the prying eyes of the corporate Lumpenproletariat.

The Who’s fearsome rhythm section may be kaput, alas, but the Mole Rat Army continues to beat the drum for Mac intelligence. Enlist with The NMR Report, and a chubby souvenir mole rat could be yours!

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