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Naked Mole Rat Report: Bump in the night

December 22, 2001

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Burrow into The Gay Blade’s enclave. The Spork Boards

With a geographical sense as befogged as cub war correspondent Geraldo Rivera's and a keister that's expanding faster than John Ashcroft's interpretation of search-and-seizure laws, The Gay Blade's pre-Expo dash to scoop up and disburse picayune Mac nuggets is both graceless and alarming.

This week, this harried implement continues his breathless waddle through the labyrinthine corridors snaking deep beneath Adobe Systems Inc.'s San Jose, Calif., redoubt, his path illuminated only by the burning ember of a cheroot, pausing here and there for another quick pull off his Army-issue absinthe decanter.

Sweet Theseus in heavy cream! Where'd the Blade put his giant ball of twine?

He's obviously no Green Beret (he prefers taupe for these sorts of affairs), but the Blade has managed to peel a few small but intriguing bits of information from the damp granite walls.

Consider this grainy fragment of videotape, which apparently portrays senior Adobe product managers sharing a hookah and a filigreed silver tray of ship dates. The Blade's old ears aren't what they were before Black Flag's first album; nevertheless, he has the distinct impression that Photoshop 7, aka Liquid Sky, won't be ready to ship at January's Macworld Expo/San Francisco. (To be sure, the Carbonized version of the redoubtable image-editing application will put in its long-awaited appearance during Steve Jobs' keynote presentation, but Adobe still needs to monkey with the code a bit longer in order to hit the moving target that is full Mac OS X compatibility.)

And back on the cheaper cushions, the GoLive team is indeed on the verge of birthing Version 6 of the Web-authoring package. While insiders report that the Carbon-compliant incarnation has been taxed by complexities relating to the creation of a rock-steady editorial architecture, the new beastie should be ready to roll at the big Mac show.

Adobe akhbar – that's a spicy falafel!

Don't bogart that tip! Pass it over to The NMR Report, and a juicy commemorative mole rat could be yours!

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